Why Wait So Long To Get Married...
When telling friends and family "We're engaged!", the usual response was "FINALLY!"
Promptly followed by a "Oh you are having a long engagement huh?"
Totally, I get it. Alex and I have been together 6 years, and it will be 7 years before we officially tie the knot. "FINALLY" is an acceptable response. And, yes, I was that girlfriend that REALLY wanted to get engaged and then married, but I had some rules and a very clear timeline in my head.
Alex and I have been together since freshman year of college, when we were 18 and still no idea about the real world. We've grown up together and we've grown inseparable for the most part. He is my best friend, my confidant, the best support system, and my lover. I was not the girl that planned her wedding since middle school or had a scrap book with all the dream details. But a few years into the relationship, marriage became a real possibility, and I was excited about it! I made it very clear to Alex, I didn't want to get engaged while I was still in school.
I was in school to get a real degree, not just a Mrs. degree and drop out to get married and have babies. I'm not that person. I didn't want to have my focus split between starting a life with Alex and starting my life as as adult. I was comfortable enough in the relationship that I didn't need a ring to prove I was in love. I had case studies and finals to focus on!
I wasn't until I was in my 5th year in college, Alex had graduated, that my sorority sisters talked me into making a Wedding board on Pinterest. I had no idea what I wanted, I was just looking at all the pretty things and options and wrapping my head around it. (You can check it out here!) I was ending my college career and looking at starting my professional career and getting married was on the horizon!
He didn't propose when I graduated, nor in the 6 months after when we were living with friends to save money, or in the year after that when we had out own place and a cat and a real life together. I was a little upset.
WAIT! Don't start freaking out that I was the women that gave the ultimatum of "marry me or I'm gone." Sure, I wanted the sparkly ring and the commitment. I know the ring doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme, but that legal piece of paper is very important to me. Insurance, rights and taxes all are much easier with a marriage certificate. I knew Alex loved me and we weren't anywhere close to being in trouble, but the lack of that first step bothered me. He assured me that he was going to do it, but he wanted " to get me a ring that I deserved." How sappy is that?! Hopeless romantic.
So when he FINALLY asked...YAY!
We set the wedding a year and a half away. WHY?
A) I'm not pregnant, no shotgun wedding. B) We both knew we didn't need to run down the aisle to be happy.
Weddings are expensive, so I wanted to make sure I had time to plan and save and was sure I could manage everything. Getting married is supposed to be one of the best days of your life, why spend the time planning it all stressed out?
I have my WHOLE lifetime to spend with him, and I've already been living the good life. It will happen, and I'm happy that it's happening. That means enough to me. I want to do this right, with less stress and less debt.